Taylor Swift Announces New Album: ‘Tortured Mennonite Poets Department’


Pop sensation Taylor Swift is venturing into new territory on her forthcoming 11th album – tortured Mennonite poets.

“Of all the poets out there, I think the Mennonite poets are the most tortured,” said Swift. “I mean have you read The Shunning?”

The album, entitled Tortured Mennonite Poets Department, includes songs dedicated to Patrick Friesen, Di Brandt, Andreas Schroeder, Angeline Schellenberg, David Waltner-Toews, Audrey Poetker, Jeff Gundy, Barbara Nickel, Abigail Carl-Klassen and so many more.

“I didn’t want to overdo it, but I’ve got three songs dedicated to the work of Sarah Ens alone,” said Swift. “You should hear my new single ‘The World is Mostly Blank Space.'”

Ens clarified that she doesn’t consider herself to be tortured, per se, but gets that this reputation just goes with the territory of being a poet.

“The album will also feature a dance remix of Sarah Klassen’s Tree of Life,” said Swift. “Plus a stripped down acoustic version of Julia Kasdorf’s Sleeping Preacher.”

As predicted, Mennonite churches have already spoken out against the album, warning parishioners that if they’re caught listening to it, they’ll be forced to stay after church for the next six months and collect the communion cups.

( T. Swift photo credit: Eva Rinaldi/CC)

Winnipeg Woman Breaks Longstanding Vow Never to Leave the City with Visit to Pool in Steinbach
Abandoned Pizza Hut Serves as Lasting Monument to Human Ingenuity and Indigestion