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Month: January 2022

Unger & Thirst

Area Man Mistakes Freedom Convoy for Timmies Line

January 27, 2022 Andrew

THUNDER BAY, ON Local man Dan Friesen, 51, was heading out for his daily double-double and chocolate cream glazed, when he entered what he thought was just the regular Timmies line. “I thought nothing of […]

Unger Suspicion

Joe Rogan Burns All His Neil Young Records

January 26, 2022 Andrew

NEWARK, NJ After legendary Canadian rock icon Neil Young threatened to pull his music from Spotify unless misinformationophile Joe Rogan left the platform, the UFC commentator/health expert has lashed out against Young by holding a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Convoy of Mennonite Truckers On Their Way To Ottawa

January 25, 2022 Andrew

ELMIRA, ON A convoy of Mennonite buggies are snaking their way through the country roads all the way from Elmira to Ottawa to demand their right to quilt whatever patterns they so choose. “Who’s Trudeau […]

The Daily Bonnet

Daily Bonnet Book Mysteriously Discovered in Fiction Section

January 24, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Annie Loewen of Saskatoon was eager to spend her Christmas money at her local McNally Robinson Booksellers this weekend, but had real trouble finding that Daily Bonnet book anywhere. “I looked all over […]

Unger Games

Djokovic Retires from Tennis to Take on Trucking Job in Canada

January 23, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After dominating the sport of tennis for the past two decades, Novak Djokovic plans to use his immense talents to single-handedly solve the supply chain problem in Canada. “Got my Class 1 license […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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