FRESNO, CA
After seeing a number of “concerning social media postings” in the past few days, Mrs. Dierdre Janzen, 71, of Fresno has consulted with the elder board and determined that her daughter Audrey is most definitely in some kind of cult.
“Oba na, I don’t know what these green and yellow boxes are, but they’re definitely not Christian,” said Mrs. Janzen. “And the most remarkable thing is how quickly she fell for this cult. So sad.”
Audrey posted more than 53 Wordle puzzles in just two days, which Mrs. Jazen says is one of the top signs that you’re daughter is in a cult.
“Oh, it’s so sad,” said Mrs. Janzen. “The kids these days can get caught up in cults so easily. I’m just glad she’s not a Mormon or Scientologist.”
Audrey claimed she most definitely was not in a cult, but admitted she intended to spend every Sunday morning for the rest of her life completing Wordle puzzles.