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Month: January 2019

The Daily Bonnet

‘Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Abes’ Opens in Mennonite Town

January 17, 2019 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB The SPCA is expanding its reach by opening up a branch in the small Mennonite town of New Bothwell. The goal of the new society is to make sure area Abes are […]

Unger Suspicion

Study Suggest Satire is 20% Funnier When Drunk

January 16, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON A new study out of the University of Central Kitchener shows that satire is a fully twenty percent funnier after readers have had more than four drinks. “The problem with the Daily Bonnet […]

The Daily Bonnet

Last Remaining Man at Senior’s Home Has Women Scrambling for His Attention

January 16, 2019 Andrew

AYLMER, ON At 88 years young, Mr. George Wiebe is the last man standing at the Aylmer Menno Home. While he does occasionally miss the chance to talk about the price of hogs these days […]

The Daily Bonnet

Puerto Vallarta to Be Renamed ‘Little Winkler’

January 15, 2019 Andrew

PUERTO VALLARTA, MEXICO After nearly two-thirds of the Winkler population vacated their homes and showed up on a charter flight to Puerto Vallerta this past week, the mayor of the Mexican resort town has decided […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Shut Down Has Anabaptists Reluctantly Attending Episcopal Churches

January 14, 2019 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA A nationwide Mennonite church shut down, now the longest in U.S. history, has Anabaptists scrambling to figure out “where the heck we’re going to worship on Sunday morning.” Most have decided to give […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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