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Month: January 2019

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Still Writing Her Cheques for 2018

January 13, 2019 Andrew

PLUM COULEE, MB The Plum Coulee Credit Union is just about fed up with Mrs. Friesen’s cheques dated to January 2018. Credit Union staff has warned her on numerous occasions to “get with the times” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Loops Parking Lot for an Hour to Avoid Paying for Parking

January 12, 2019 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Jeremy Goerzen, 39, was picking up his friends at the airport who were visiting from Manitoba. Unfortunately the flight was delayed and so, instead, of paying ten dollars to park, Jeremy […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Novelist Irma Voth Pens New Novel Called ‘Miriam Toews’

January 11, 2019 Andrew

MEXICO CITY Mennonite literature fans are really excited about the release of a new novel by renowned Mexican Mennonite novelist Irma Voth called Miriam Toews. “I can’t wait to read Miriam Toews. I’ve been reading Irma Voth’s […]

Unger Suspicion

Patrik Laine Considers Bringing Back ‘Lucky Mennonite Beard’ After Recent Slump

January 10, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Young Finnish phenom Patrik Laine has been in a slump as of late and hockey experts are pointing to only one possible cause of his scoreless streak – shaving off his Menno beard. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Politician Demands $5 Billion Wall Around Morden

January 9, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Church board member and man-about-town Mr. Toews of Winkler is threatening to shut down the local government unless the local senate approves a $5.7 billon wall around the neighbouring town of Morden. “You […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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