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Month: May 2017

The Daily Bonnet

How to Seduce a Mennonite Man (A Guide in Pictures)

May 25, 2017 Andrew

After years of research, with countless false starts and failed attempts, the ladies here at the Daily Bonnet have finally perfected the art of seducing a Mennonite man. Here is a step-by-step guide to winning […]

Unger & Thirst

Maid of Honour Toasts Bride With Glass of Water

May 24, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Guests at the Harder-Peters wedding this past weekend were busy enjoying a pleasant Mennonite meal in the church basement when it was time for the toasts to the bride and groom. “I’ve known Cynthia […]

The Daily Bonnet

Team of Paraguayan Mennonites Defeats Canadian National Soccer Team

May 23, 2017 Andrew

ASUNCION, PARAGUAY A group of guys from the Fernheim Colony, Paraguay took on the Canadian men’s national soccer team in Asuncion this past week and came away with a resounding five to nil victory. The […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Mom Doesn’t Realize Her Son’s a Hipster

May 23, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Despite her son showing obvious signs for more than three years now, local mom Dorothy Lepp, 47, still has absolutely no clue her son Aaron is a committed hipster. “When I asked if […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Long List of Chores Still Not Done

May 22, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK At the end of the day on Monday, local family man Menno Peters, 47, was still nowhere near to being finished the long list of chores given to him by his wife Anne […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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