KANSAS CITY, MO
World Cup fans from across the globe are coming home with a lot more than just the satisfaction of watching the Americans get absolutely destroyed by Belgium; they’re also discovering a delicious new treat known as schmaunt fat.
“I was in Kansas City, so naturally I had to drive out to Goessel to check out the Mennonites,” said soccer fan Chloe Flaubert of France. “And it was there at a church potluck that I discovered the wondrous delight known as schmaunt fat.”
Flaubert initially mistook the white cream gravy for bechamel sauce, but soon discovered it was so much more.
“Even if France doesn’t win the World Cup, I’m going to go home satisfied,” said Flaubert. “No more fancy French food for me. From now on I’m going Mennonite.”
Visitors to Vancouver also ventured out to Abbotsford where they made similar discoveries.
“You can put it on vereniki. You can put in kielke,” said Flaubert. “From now on I’m putting that stuff on everything.”
