FRESNO, CA Guillermo Toews, a soccer player from Paraguay, got FIFA’s first ever red card for yawning this week after appearing visibly bored during his match against Turkey. “Hey, if the fans are bored that’s […]
KANSAS CITY, MO World Cup fans from across the globe are coming home with a lot more than just the satisfaction of watching the Americans get absolutely destroyed by Belgium; they’re also discovering a delicious […]
SEATTLE, WA After a last second phone call from Donald Trump, FIFA President Gianni Infantino has agreed to let the US President act as head referee for tonight’s match in Seattle. “He knows so much […]
BOSTON, MA Soccer experts are attributing Paraguay’s shocking victory over Germany last night to the prayers of 100,000 Mennonites in the Chaco. “I can’t think of any other way this could have happened,” said soccer […]
LEAMINGTON, ON Moments after Leamington’s own Stephen Eustáquio scored the game-winning goal for Canada this afternoon, the ladies at the local Mennonite church were busy rolling out the dough for the world’s largest vereniki. “And […]
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