Mennonite Children Leave Plate of Vereniki and Schmaunt Fat for Santa


The Broesky children of Reinland were sick and tired of the mediocre gifts that Santa brought when they left out milk and cookies, and so decided to change things up a little this year.

“Last year all Santa brought me was a used Danny Orlis book and a paper bag full of peanuts,” said little Timmy Broesky. “So, we decided to up our game. What fat old man can resist vereniki? I know my dad’s always in a better mood after he has some.”

The Broesky kids were busy all day rolling out the dough and stuffing them with cottage cheese.

“We even left him a nice tall glass of schmaunt fat,” said little Bethany. “I’m certain our presents will be better this year.”

Bethany and Timmy are hoping for a PS4 this year, but rumour has it Santa requires a heaping plate of kielke and some fresh rhubarb platz before he’s willing to give out one of those.

“You know what they always say ‘Santa works in mysterious ways,'” said Mrs Broesky. “But, hey, I think the kids have finally got him figured out.”

The Daily Bonnet will have reporters on the scene Christmas morning to see whether the Broesky children’s strategy was successful.

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