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Unger & Thirst

iPhone Severely Damaged After Spending Afternoon in Pocket Full of Zoat

April 23, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area man Garth Siemens couldn’t figure out what happened to his iPhone screen this afternoon. “I was just sitting there watching the first church softball game of the season,” said Siemens. “And the […]

Unger Suspicion

Phone Companies Reassure Canadians Exorbitant Bills Still Due During Postal Strike

November 21, 2024 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Millions of Canadians breathed a sigh of relief this week after they found out their devilishly-high phone bills would still arrive at their doorsteps like usual. “Don’t you worry your pretty little hearts […]

Unger Conviction

Cellphone Ban Coming to Mennonite Churches this Fall

August 15, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In a historic agreement, Mennonite denominations across the province have come together in a united front to ban all cellphones in church this fall. “Look we know the sermon’s boring, but we can’t […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Man Racks Up $5 Million in Roaming Charges After Venturing into Morden

May 31, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Dave Sawatzky was shocked when he received his phone bill this month, which tallied up to a whopping $5.2 million, all due to a quick afternoon trip to Morden. “I thought […]

The Daily Bonnet

Apple Calendar Forces Mennonite Woman to Celebrate Something Called ‘Tartan Day’

April 6, 2024 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Area woman Erin Loewen, 29, was intrigued this week as she noticed a black dot on today’s date in her iPhone calendar. “Funny, I don’t recall scheduling anything for today,” said Loewen. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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