Unseasonable Warmth Has Mennonites Flocking to the Pits


As temperatures have risen well above freezing this week, Mennonites across southern Manitoba have been flocking to the local gravel pits for a swim.

Kjnels, don’t forget the zoat!” yelled Jakob Krahn, as he hopped into his F-150 on the way to the pits. “Oh, boy, I sure hope second cousin Lena is there!”

The pits were packed this weekend, with the country music blasting from Petey Toews’ transistor radio.

“We’ve got vodka coolers and Alan Jackson. What more do you need for a pits party!” said Toews. “As soon as the Pletts show up, then the action really begins!”

The Plett boys showed up twenty minutes later with a two-four and a ice auger to make a hole big enough for swimming.

“Ahh, this is the life,” said Petey Plett. “Some good tunes, cheap adult beverages, and plenty of cousins in various states of undress. Who says the pits have to be a summer thing?”

The Mennonite winter pit party went on all afternoon until everyone decided to pack things up and pretend to be something they’re not at tonight’s evening service.

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