The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

swimming

Unger the Influence

Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool

June 26, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Vacationers swimming in the Washington, DC Reflecting Pool vacated really quick this afternoon after someone “Caddyshacked” the pool. “I don’t know who did it or how it happened,” said Gary Kehler, “but when […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Installs New Inground Pool

June 4, 2026 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Local man Johan Miller has always wanted a good quality inground pool, which he feels will be especially refreshing during the hot summer months. “But I wasn’t going to pay Home Depot prices,” […]

Unger & Thirst

‘Summer McIntosh Borscht’: Mennonites Rename Soup in Honour of Swimmer

August 1, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE With two golds and a silver so far at the 2024 games, Summer McIntosh has captured the hearts of the nation, including the Canadian Mennonite population who have renamed a popular borscht after […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Man Medals in Synchronized Baptisms

July 31, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE It was a historic moment for the Canadian Olympic team this week as Rylan Wiens and diving partner Nathan Zsombor-Murray won a bronze medal. The moment did not go unnoticed by the folks […]

Unger Games

Olympics Add 20 New Swimming Categories to Artificially Boost Michael Phelps’ Medal Count

July 27, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE Concerned that his status as “all-time Olympic medal winner” might fall someday, American officials have successfully petitioned the International Olympic Committee to add upwards of twenty new swimming categories. “With these new additions, […]

Posts pagination

1 2 … 4 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Pat Sajak to be Replaced with Mennonite Man who Only Knows Plautdietsch
    June 12, 2024
  • Thousands of Canadians Flock to Mexico to Cool Off this Summer
    July 13, 2026
  • Pair of Used Communion Cups Sit Uncollected for Three Months
    June 10, 2023
  • Pink Whitney Discovered in Mrs. Loewen’s Thermos
    August 13, 2021
  • Millions of Homeless Canadian Refugees Flock to US Border After Heatwave Melts Igloos
    August 4, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved