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The Daily Bonnet

“I don’t not love Winkler,” says Michael B. Jordan

March 4, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB In a rarely-seen clip that was cut from the TV broadcast, Hollywood superstar Michael B. Jordan claimed he doesn’t “not love Winkler,” this according to Mr. Plett who’s been telling everyone about at […]

Unger Suspicion

Winkler Spy Balloon Shot Down Above Morden

February 4, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB A couple of slingshots and some good aim were all it took to down a massive spy balloon from Winkler that was hovering in the skies of neighbouring Morden for the past few […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Communities Eager to Put a Siemens in Charge

November 12, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC (with files from WINKLER, MB) There is a growing trend in traditionally-Mennonite communities across Canada – putting a Siemens in charge. This month civic elections in both Abbotsford and Winkler sent a Siemens to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler to Implement New ‘ArriveVankla’ App

September 22, 2022 Andrew

VANKLA, MB Just as the federal government is set to scrap the glitchy ArriveCan app, the city of Winkler has decided to add a new “ArriveVankla” app for all visitors from Jantsied or Morden yet […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Census Data Identifies ‘English mixed with Plautdietsch and a bit of regular German mixed in yet’ as Most Popular Language in Winkler

September 7, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Recently released figures from Stats Canada show that English with a sprinkling of Low and High German is the most common mother tongue in the RM of Winkler yet once. “Oh, jauma, they […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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