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The Daily Bonnet

Winkler-Steinbach Rivalry to Be Settled With Winner-Take-All Dutch Blitz Tournament

February 20, 2019 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB After years of bitter rivalry between the two Mennonite megalopolises, a grand Dutch Blitz tournament will forever determine who are the better Mennonites. Winkler and Steinbach will send their best Dutch Blitz players to Rosenort, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Puerto Vallarta to Be Renamed ‘Little Winkler’

January 15, 2019 Andrew

PUERTO VALLARTA, MEXICO After nearly two-thirds of the Winkler population vacated their homes and showed up on a charter flight to Puerto Vallerta this past week, the mayor of the Mexican resort town has decided […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Politician Demands $5 Billion Wall Around Morden

January 9, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Church board member and man-about-town Mr. Toews of Winkler is threatening to shut down the local government unless the local senate approves a $5.7 billon wall around the neighbouring town of Morden. “You […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Man Drives All the Way to Winnipeg with His Turn Signal On

September 29, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Peter Sawatzky, 72, is being hailed as a hero in Winkler this week after successfully driving all the way to the Costco on McGillvray with his right turn signal on. “I […]

Unger Conviction

Google Maps Error Leads Rosenort Couple to Southland Mall in Winkler

March 15, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Wiebe family of Rosenort were excited to take the trip out to Steinbach to hear Brother Yun speak at a local church, but after entering the location into Google Maps, the family […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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