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Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Installs New Water Treatment Plant to Make All their Water Taste Just Like Niverville’s

November 5, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After months of consulting water sommeliers in neighbouring Niverville, a massive new water treatment plant opened in Steinbach this week, which promises to provide locals with “the distinct bouquet and mouthfeel of authentic […]

Unger & Thirst

City of Steinbach Fills Water Tower with Roger’s Golden Syrup

September 27, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Just in the time for the last roll kuchen weekend of the season, the city of Steinbach has filled the water tower with Roger’s Golden Syrup. “Oba, I’m looking forward to my weekly […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Maid of the Mist’ Relocates to Pisew Falls

August 5, 2020 Andrew

THOMPSON, MB Thousands of tourists in raincoats have taken the 6 up to Pisew Falls this week for their chance to ride the ‘Maid of the Mist.’ “Diewel, it was a long drive. Knacked nearly […]

Unger Conviction

Pourer Gets Dunked Just to Make Sure

June 1, 2020 Andrew

HILLSBORO, KS Local man Mr. Klassen has lived his whole life with deep-seated fears that his pouring baptism at the age of 19 just wasn’t good enough. “So, I’ve finally decided to get dunked,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Waters Down Her Ketchup to Make it Last

September 22, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB Mrs. Plett decided to add three cups of water to her bottle of ketchup and “bring that stuff back to life.” The practice of watering down ketchup has strong roots in the Mennonite […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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