The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

washroom

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Wins Nobel Peace Prize for Remembering to Lift the Toilet Seat

March 29, 2024 Andrew

REINFELD, MB Devoted husband and father of four, Bert Harder, 51, just received word this week that he has won the Nobel Peace Prize for being the first Mennonite man to lift the toilet seat. […]

Unger Suspicion

Lineup for Women’s Washroom Stretches 10 Miles

April 12, 2023 Andrew

CALGARY, AB The lineup for the women’s washroom after church this Sunday stretched more than 10 miles south and caused a traffic jam on Macleod Trail in Calgary. “Diewel, that’s a long line,” said Mrs. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Spends All Day Fighting with Automatic Paper Towel Dispenser

July 14, 2022 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Mr. Eby of Waterloo spent more than 6 hours at his local Walmart this afternoon trying to get the automatic paper towel dispenser to recognize him. “It’s worse than milking a cow,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Spends Two Hours Selecting Least Awkward Urinal

July 6, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Altona man Pat Rempel, 47, spent more than two hours selecting the proper urinal position during a trip to a Winnipeg shopping mall this week. “Okay, okay, Pat, you can do this,” he […]

Unger Suspicion

Study: 99% of Anti-Vax “Research” Occurs While Taking a Dump

August 28, 2021 Andrew

FARGO, ND A new study shows that the overwhelming majority of anti-vax research occurs whilst the researcher is doing a number two. “We geolocated all the top anti-vax researchers and found almost all of them […]

Posts pagination

1 2 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Rock Band Releases All-Cowbell Version of ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’
    July 2, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Converts to Hinduism Five Minutes into Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown DVD
    April 26, 2018
  • Congress to Do Everything in its Power to Do Absolutely Nothing
    May 26, 2022
  • Bible School Offering Money Back Guarantee if Not Engaged By the End of First Semester
    September 4, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store
    November 29, 2022

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved