REINFELD, MB
Devoted husband and father of four, Bert Harder, 51, just received word this week that he has won the Nobel Peace Prize for being the first Mennonite man to lift the toilet seat.
“When I got the call, I thought maybe they were kidding,” said Harder. “But, no, it’s true. I’ve won the Nobel Peace Prize. I can’t believe it.”
Harder’s efforts to lift the seat before taking a whiz were cited by the Nobel committee as making a significant contribution toward world peace.
“It’s certainly made things more peaceful around the Harder household,” said Harder. “I haven’t seen my Lois this content in decades.”
Harder plans to use his winnings to start a foundation dedicated to non-violence, harmonious living, and lifting the seat.
“If I can encourage just one more man to lift the seat before peeing, I think it’ll all be worthwhile,” said Harder. “It’s going to take a lot of work, but I think we can make strides towards peace, one toilet seat at a time.”
Meanwhile, some of the more advanced students in Harder’s class have already moved on to learning how to lower the lid when they’re finished.
