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underwear

The Daily Bonnet

A Guide to Underwear Shopping for Mennonite Men

February 20, 2021 Andrew

Ahh, yes, underwear shopping, every Mennonite man’s biggest fear. Well, fear no more, the Daily Bonnet has created this handy guide that will make underwear shopping as painless as possible. Just follow these step-by-step instructions […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Super Excited that He Can Finally Attend Church in His Undies

March 29, 2020 Andrew

OMAHA, NE Mr. Janzen, 43, of Omaha is quickly becoming a regular church attender now that he doesn’t even have to get out of bed and take a shower in order to attend. “Ahh, this […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Accidentally Displays Sexy Lingerie on Clothesline

July 10, 2019 Andrew

ST. JACOB’S, ON Mrs. Martin has sent shockwaves throughout Woolwich Township this past week after a lace teddy that she purchased in Kitchener appeared on her clothesline. “I nearly crashed my buggy when we went […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Walks Around in ‘Thongs’ All Summer

June 27, 2019 Andrew

GRAND BEACH, MB Mr. Wiens, 58, of Vankla has been spending a lot of time at Grand Beach this year wearing little more than a thong. “Going to the beach, honey,” said Mr. Wiens. “Anyone […]

Unger Conviction

Congregation Shocked as Guitarist Snaps a G String

June 25, 2019 Andrew

SALEM, OR Parishioners at the South Salem Mennonite Church were in shock this last week after song leader and guitarist Miss Horsch lost her G string right in the middle of “10,000 Reasons.” “I’ve never […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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