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Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Leads Mass Exodus from Twitter

November 25, 2024 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Area man Moses Schwartzentruber has led a large group of Mennonites off of Twitter in search of bluer skies. The exodus began after pleading with Pharoah Elon to stop being such an ass […]

Unger Suspicion

‘X’ Rebranded as ‘PG-13’ for Sensitive Mennonites

July 30, 2023 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA Realizing he had unintentionally alienated a sizeable chunk of potential users, X CEO Elon Musk has launched a new PG-13 App especially for Mennonites. “Rest assured, there’s not a single exposed ankle or […]

Unger Suspicion

Twitter Unveils New Logo

July 24, 2023 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA There have been a lot changes over at Twitter since Elon Musk took over including, but not limited to, a brand new logo that looks eerily familiar to neighbouring Mennonites over in […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Deteles 6-Motnh Old Tweet After Discovreing Typo

February 27, 2023 Andrew

STIENBACH, MB Area man Pete Sawatkzy was shockead and dismayed to find a tpyo in a Tweet he psosted more than 6 months ago. “Oba, nay! This error-laden tWeet has been sitting for the months […]

Unger Suspicion

Outage Impacts All 8 Mennonites on Twitter

February 9, 2023 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON All 8 Mennonites who use Twitter – Dan Reimer, Susan Friesen, Mary Froese, Pete Sawatzky, Abe Schmidt, Karen Wiebe, Anne Yoder, and Fran Miller – were greatly impacted by the outage this week. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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