Mennonite Man Can’t Decide Between Shitty Old Truck and Obnoxious Honda Civic


Area man Peter Wiens, 19, is in the market for a new ride and has narrowed down the selection to a rusty old Ford truck or a Honda Civic with a stupid spoiler that really doesn’t do anything.

“Hmm, as a Mennonite man under 30 I’ve really only got two driving options – a shitty truck or an obnoxious Civic. It’s tough, but this is the lot I’ve been handed in life,” said Wiens. “It’s really too bad I’m only allowed to drive it up and down Main Street.”

There are a few factors that have gone into Wiens’s decision, such as fuel efficiency, ability to do burnouts, and whichever vehicle is most likely to repel any female of quality.

“I’m still not sure which one I’ll get,” said Wiens. “It’s either a Civic with illegally-tinted windows and 300,000 kms or a rusty truck that just happens to be missing the particulate filter.”

While Wiens is deciding between shitty truck and Civic, Wiens’s grandparents, in the meantime, are still trying to decide between a slightly used CRV and the Buick they’ve had since 1987.

(photo credit: Eyellgeteven/CC)

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