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Unger Suspicion

Nostradamus Eerily Predicts the End of Twitter

November 15, 2022 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA For centuries French astrologer Nostradamus has been duping the gullible and/or intoxicated into believing his 16th centuries delusional ramblings had some predictive power. Well, it seems even the fall of Twitter has […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Becomes First to Get Blue Checkmark on Genealogy Website

November 8, 2022 Andrew

LAWRENCE, KS Daily Bonnet author Andrew Unger has recently become the first person ever to get a blue checkmark certification on Mennonite genealogy website GRanDMA OnLine. “Currently there are 673 Andrew Ungers on this website, […]

Unger Conviction

Elon Musk Buys Mennonite Church, Appoints Himself Pastor

November 2, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Elon Musk is on a buying spree it seems, as reports out of Fresno, California this week indicate the billionaire has recently purchased the local MB church, fired all the staff, and appointed […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Sells Margarine Container to Elon Musk for $44 Billion

April 29, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After months of heated negotiation, Mrs. Eleanor Brandt of Fresno just sold her top margarine container to investor Elon Musk for a record $44 billion. “He took it no questions asked,” said Mrs […]

Unger Suspicion

Elon Musk Offers Free Cybertruck to Any Left-wingers Willing to Stay on Twitter

April 18, 2022 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA Left-of-centre Twitter users have threatened to leave the platform en masse if the Elon Musk takeover goes through. In an effort to placate the angry crowd, Musk has offered users a free […]

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