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Daily Bonnet

Kanadier Stowaway Discovered on Russlaender Train

July 21, 2023 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The Russlaender 100 historical train trip took an unexpected turn this week after an uninvited guest was discovered on board — a Kanadier. “I was just minding my own business in the bar […]

Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Fined by Airline for Trying Baggage Hack of Wearing All Her Clothes

May 25, 2023 Andrew

ST. CATHERINE’S, ON Mrs. Berg of St. Catherine’s, Ontario received a $606 fine after attempting to board her Air Canada flight to Kitchener this afternoon wearing all her clothes. “Got any bags to check?” said […]

Unger the Influence

Liberals Update Passport to Include Sausages from Across Canada

May 23, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Fears that the new Canadian passport would be a little too bland for the tastes of Canadians were proved to be unfounded this week after the Liberal government revealed a new sausage-filled passport. […]

Unger Suspicion

WestJet Accidentally Announces New Direct Flights from Winnipeg to Altona

May 13, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB WestJet announced this week a new direct flight between Winnipeg, Manitoba and the bustling Hartsfield-Jackson Airport in Altona. “Starting this fall, we’re offering direct flights all the way from Winnipeg to Altona,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Mickey Mouse Learns Plautdietsch to Accommodate All the Mennonites at Disney World Right Now

March 28, 2023 Andrew

ORLANDO, FL With a bevy of cheap flights sending Mennonites to Florida this week, residents of Disney World have been brushing up on their Plautdietsch, not to mention the theme park’s record-setting order of roll […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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