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toronto

Unger Suspicion

What a $5 Million House Looks Like in Toronto

June 25, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON With interest rates rising and the housing market starting to cool, realtors are now calling it a buyer’s market. Nowhere is this more evident than in Toronto where a mere $5 million will […]

Unger Games

Toronto Maple Leafs Announce Plans to Relocate to Las Vegas

June 13, 2023 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV After decades without a Stanley Cup, the Toronto Maple Leafs have finally come up with a plan that will guarantee them a victory in the near future – moving to Las Vegas. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Suspected in $20 Million Golden Syrup Heist at Pearson Airport

April 20, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Close to $20 million worth of Rogers Golden Syrup and other valuables were stolen at Pearson Airport in Toronto this morning and police are already on the lookout for various Friesens, Reimer, and […]

Unger & Thirst

World’s Most Daring Mennonite Man Tries the Mild Spice

March 25, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Andre Unrau, 43, of Steinbach has entered the Guinness Book of Records this week after trying the mild spice at the new Chica’s Chicken in Steinbach. “No Mennonite has ever ventured beyond the […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Couple Spends Delightful Holiday Weekend on Toronto Tarmac

December 28, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The Thiessens were all packed up and ready to visit their relatives in Manitoba this week, but decided at the last minute to spend the entire week on a lovely Toronto tarmac instead. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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