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thanksgiving

The Daily Bonnet

Tings Oncle Johan is Tankful For This Year

October 9, 2017 Andrew

BY: ONCLE JOHAN KLASSEN Today is the Tanksgiving and the Pradja axed us to tink of all the tings what we’re tankful for. At first, I tought, oba, nay, it’s yust too difficult, but dan […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Store Offers Amazing 10% Off Black Friday Sale

November 25, 2016 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON In order to keep Southern Ontario Mennonites from zipping over the border for Black Friday deals, local Mennonite businesses have drastically reduced prices in order to compete. Rempel Electronics, for example, is offering unprecedented […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Pastor Pardons Thanksgiving Farmer Sausage

November 24, 2016 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN By now it’s an annual tradition. When the President pardons a Thanksgiving turkey at the White House, thus sparing it from certain death, a Mennonite pastor in small town Minnesota also pardons […]

Unger & Thirst

Canadians Gorge on Turkey While Millions of Americans Starve

October 10, 2016 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Yes, Canada has it’s own Thanksgiving holiday and, thanks to an earlier harvest, it comes a full six weeks before the American celebration. This means that gluttons across Canada can fill their bellies […]

Unger & Thirst

Meet the Woman Behind the Pistachio Pudding Shortage

October 9, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Every Thanksgiving thousands of Mennonites find themselves without the necessary means to make the traditional pistachio salad from the EMMC ladies cookbook, because the stores run out of Jell-o pistachio instant pudding mix […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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