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Unger Suspicion

‘Pawn Stars’ Chumlee Settles Down With Nice Mennonite Wife

August 14, 2017 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV Sorry, ladies, but Austin Lee Russell, better known to fans of the hit reality show Pawn Stars as Chumlee, is now off the market. Numerous sources report seeing the handsome young pawn […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Couple Air Their Grievances on Jerry Springer Show

July 20, 2017 Andrew

STAMFORD, CT In most cases, Mennonite couples are encouraged to work out their differences in private, or perhaps in front of a small group of elders. However, this past week, local farmers Henry and Annie […]

Unger & Thirst

Guy Fieri Quits Show After Discovering Mennonite Food

June 23, 2017 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV Frost-tipped Food Network star Guy Fieri has decided to quit his popular ‘Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives’ show after consuming a scrumptious meal in a Mennonite home this past weekend that, in his words, […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Overwhelmingly Prefer Adam West to Any Other Batman

June 11, 2017 Andrew

ANAHEIM, CA Being sensible and civilized people, Mennonites across North America have expressed an overwhelming preference for the late Adam West’s version of Batman. A recent survey showed that 91% of Mennonites chose Adam West […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Manitoba to Honour City Founder ‘Fonzie’

June 10, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A 50-metre statue of Happy Days star Henry Winkler is set for construction right across the four-lane highway from Southland Mall in Winkler, Manitoba. “It was about darn time. As Mennonites, it’s very […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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