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Unger Suspicion

Andrew Scheer Sends Everyone in Canada Some Stupid Cat Meme

March 30, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Eager to capitalize on this hip new technology he just discovered called “texting,” Conservative leader Andrew Scheer sent, like, totally everyone in the country a really stupid cat meme he happened to find […]

Unger Suspicion

Facebook Crashes; Millions of People Actually Get Shit Done

March 13, 2019 Andrew

MENLO PARK, CA There was a surge in productivity across the globe today as Facebook and Instagram experienced unprecedented down time. “I can’t believe all the shit I got done today,” said local credit union […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ten Extremely Menno Texts My Wife Has Sent Me (This is real!)

March 12, 2019 Andrew

Oba, so sometimes when you live in Steinbach you don’t even realized how Menno your life is. It all just seems normal until you stop and take a closer look. Take, for example, these texts […]

The Daily Bonnet

98% of Mennos Still Using a Landline

March 3, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A new survey conducted in the lobby of the MBEM Church in Winkler reveals that a full 98% of Mennonites still rely on their landline telephone to communicate with the outside world. “Ach, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Spends Ten Hours Trying to Figure Out Who Unfriended Her

February 1, 2019 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Mrs. Rempel keeps pretty close track of her Facebook numbers, so when she saw her friends list drop from 189 to 188 earlier this week, she knew something was amiss. “Jauma lied! This […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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