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The Daily Bonnet

Nintendo Releases New Game for Mennonite Children

December 19, 2018 Andrew

MARTENSVILLE, SK Video game giant Nintendo has just released a new 8-bit game called Super Martens Bros. with the intent of capturing the last demographic they did not yet have: Mennonites. “Super Martens Bros. is […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Man Forgets His Apple ID Password Yet Again

December 18, 2018 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Area man Ernie Rempel, 47, had to reset his Apple ID password yet again this morning, after he went to purchase the Hientje Christmas album on iTunes and discovered he no longer […]

Unger Suspicion

New Huawei Phones Capable of Taking ‘Totally Amazing Photos’ of their Own Executive’s Arrest and Extradition!

December 13, 2018 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC Chinese electronics giant Huawei is really proud of the amazing 48 MP capabilities of their Mate 20 Pro, a phone that’s being marketed as “the only smartphone to capture those stunning images of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Calls Wrong Number, Doesn’t Notice for More than Forty Minutes

October 1, 2018 Andrew

MEADOW LAKE, SK Earlier this week, Mrs. Susie Berg, 71, attempted to call her friend Mrs. Helen Reimer to catch up on all the latest gossip. She dialed the number and instantly launched into the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Man’s Hilarious Wikipedia Edit About Mennonites Goes Unnoticed for Six Years

August 31, 2018 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Back in the winter of 2012, then Conrad Grebel student, Jakob Klassen, 23, of Aylmer edited the Wikipedia page about Mennonites to include numerous hilarious but erroneous bits of information. Klassen was shocked […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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