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The Daily Bonnet

‘Birthers’ Demand Baptism Certificate from Daily Bonnet Founder

July 24, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Skeptical of his Mennonite credentials, a half dozen conspiracy nuts from just outside Steinbach are demanding to see the baptism certificate of Daily Bonnet author Andrew Unger. “We want to see his long-form […]

The Daily Bonnet

One-‘N’-Bergmans to Battle Two-‘N’-Bergmanns This Sunday Afternoon at Altona Park

June 4, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Bergman(n)s across Southern Manitoba will duke it out this Sunday at Altona Memorial Park. The competition, which consists mostly of feats of strength and Plautdietsch spelling, will decide once and for all how […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Excited for Latest Instalment in the ‘Harder Boys’ Series

June 3, 2018 Andrew

BLUE CREEK COLONY, BELIZE Mennonites are lining up outside bookstores throughout Belize in anticipation of the new Harder Boys adventure. The books, now numbering several hundred, features wholesome brothers Johnny and Abram Harder who solve […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Official Correct Spelling of Every Mennonite Surname

March 4, 2018 Andrew

We’ve looked at proper pronunciation before, but today we’re going to examine the proper spelling of common Russian Mennonite surnames. I know it’s hard to believe, but some of you are getting your own names […]

Unger Suspicion

A List of Famous Dicks Who Are Not Mennonite

February 17, 2018 Andrew

You know those people who sit all the way to the end of the credits at a movie? What on earth are they doing? We know there’s no bonus scene at the end of Lady […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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