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The Daily Bonnet

No One Elected to Baseball Hall of Fame Except for this One Mennonite Dude from Rosenhof

January 28, 2021 Andrew

COOPERSTOWN, NY Move over Curt Schilling. For the second time in the last ten years, the Baseball Hall of Fame has decided that absolutely no one except for a Warkentin from Rosenhof was worthy of induction. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Football Player Suspended Two Games after Testing Positive for Papsi and Ravel

August 26, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a wee bit too much Papsi and Ravel was found in his system, Andreas Heinrichs has been suspended from playing the next two games of the EMBC church touch football league. “Oba, […]

Unger Games

Alex Rodriguez To Bring Disgrace to Baseball One Last Time Today

August 12, 2016 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY After a long storied career as baseball’s most notable scumbag, convicted cheater Alex Rodriguez will hang up his cleats on Friday, as fans gather at Yankee Stadium to say “good riddance” to professional […]

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More from the unger review

  • Kitchener Man Finally Meets His Waterloo
    May 5, 2021
  • Mennonite Man Reads Full Daily Bonnet Article After Years of Just Reading the Headlines
    November 4, 2021
  • Young Man on Life Support after Dangerous Game of Russian Mennonite Roulette
    August 3, 2017
  • Local Man Totally Hooked on ‘Mennonite Marijuana’
    August 14, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Takes Home Top Prize at Annual ‘Humility Awards’
    December 12, 2017

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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