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Unger Games

SkyDome to Be Replaced with Massive Doug Ford Statue

December 1, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The 30-year-old Rogers Centre, aka SkyDome, in downtown Toronto is set for demolition this winter, but locals don’t have to wait long for the newest Toronto attraction as a massive 100-meter tall statue […]

Unger Games

“Isn’t there a hockey game on or something?”

November 3, 2020 Andrew

BRANDON, MB Local man Darryl Wiebe, 47, has been flipping channels all evening in search of something, anything, even the least bit entertaining to watch. “Ugh. It’s the same crap on every channel,” said Wiebe. […]

Unger Games

Patrik Laine Traded to the Blumenort Menno Knights

October 25, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB After months of speculation, the Winnipeg Jets have revealed that 22-year-old superstar Patrik Laine and his seven million dollar a year salary has been traded to the Blumenort Menno Knights of the Hanover-Tache […]

The Daily Bonnet

Pennsylvania Mennonite Woman Will Absolutely Destroy You on the Volleyball Court

September 13, 2020 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA More than fifty million dollars has been spent in the last decade alone trying to figure out the origin of the Pennsylvania Mennonite obsession with the sport of volleyball. So far, though, no […]

Unger Games

Saskatchewan Roughriders Claim Victory in 2020 Labour Day Classic

September 5, 2020 Andrew

REGINA, SK The Covid-canceled 2020 CFL season gave the Saskatchewan Roughriders the chance to go undefeated for the first time in franchise history, including a stunning defeat over the Blue Bombers in this year’s unplayed […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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