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soup

Unger & Thirst

‘Soup and Pie Fundraiser’ Raises Millions and Millions of Dollars

February 23, 2020 Andrew

SOUTH BLUMENORT, MB Literally millions of dollars in dimes and quarters were raised at a soup and pie fundraiser in South Blumenort this past week. The unexpected success all seems to be related to Mrs. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mysterious Jars in Cellar Turn Out to Contain Oma’s Delicious Green Bean Soup

November 30, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB The Penners of Blumenort were excited to discover a huge collection of Oma’s delicious Jreen Schaubel Sup in the cellar this past week. The green bean soup had apparently been in there since the […]

Unger & Thirst

Controversial Mennonite Woman Cooks Up Batch of Somma Borscht in Winter

March 7, 2019 Andrew

HOCHFELD, MB Mrs. Plett of Hochfeld really shook things up at the soup and pie fundraiser this week after brazenly cooking up a batch of somma borscht in the dead of winter. “Oba nay, the […]

Unger & Thirst

“But I Didn’t Inhale”: Mennonite Politician Confesses to Consuming Borscht

February 11, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In a recent television interview, Canadian MP Lina Klippenstein confessed to consuming large quantities of komst borscht during her “wild college days.” “I’m not going to lie to you,” said Klippenstein. “It was […]

Unger Conviction

Top 5 Christian Standup Comedians

August 15, 2017 Andrew

Here at The Daily Bonnet, we sure love a good laugh. While many of you may be familiar with Mennonite standup comedians such as Leland Klassen and Matt Falk, there actually are a bunch of […]

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