Kevin Costner to Star in Epic $300 Million Film About Mennonites


In an effort to revive his stalling career, 90s Hollywood icon Kevin Costner has invested more than $300 million of his own money in a “totally epic” film about the Mennonites entitled Field of Dreamy Mennos.

“It’s bigger than Waterworld and better than Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves,” said Costner. “Your oma’s going to love it!”

The film is the first non-baseball related film Costner has made in more than 20 years. The story is about a young Kleine Gemeinde girl who finds love in the arms of up-and-coming General Conference pastor Henry Loewen, played by Costner, who adopts the traditional ways of the EMC in order to win her over.

“It’s Dances with Wolves without the dancing,” said Costner. “I’m sure this film is going to be box office gold.”

Still bitter over the criticism he received from not doing an English accent in Robin Hood, Costner is working really hard to nail the Plautdietsch.

“I’ve working with Martha Froese and Aganetha Klassen of Altona,” said Costner. “Oba, I’m going to get that accent right yet.”

Field of Dreamy Mennos is set for a fall 2020 release. It’s already receiving considerable Oscar buzz.

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