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Unger Suspicion

Local Man’s Biggest Fear is Showing His Fear

November 6, 2020 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Fear of being perceived as being fearful is an at all time high these days, with thousands of insecure men who fear being seen as fearful posting stuff like “stop living in fear” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Doctor Shortage Finally Solved as Thousands of Medical Experts Appear Online

October 30, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The doctor shortage in southern Manitoba has finally been solved as thousands of people in the area are now apparently fully-fledged medical experts. “We’ve seen a huge surge in medical expertise, not just […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Sheeple’ Farm Opens in Southern Manitoba

October 23, 2020 Andrew

SHEEPLETON, MB Agriculture continues to evolve in southern Manitoba. This year, in fact, the branding of people we don’t agree with as ‘sheeple’ has now surpassed cattle and hog farming as the most popular agricultural […]

The Daily Bonnet

Shenandoah Valley Erupts in Chaos After Sarcastic Comment is Posted Without a Smiley Face

September 10, 2020 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA The Shenandoah Valley is in chaos this week, after Mr. Gerber posted a sarcastic comment on Facebook and failed to indicate his sarcasm with a smiley face emoji. “All I said was that […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Called Before the Church Elders for Commenting on an Article Without Reading It

July 28, 2020 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Mr. Andrew Yoder, 31 was brought before the church elders this week after it came to their attention that he had commented on a Buzz Feed article without reading it and that this […]

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