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The Daily Bonnet

New Facebook Algorithm Only Shows Posts from Your 26 Closest Frintschoft

June 5, 2021 Andrew

FRESNO, CA A study conducted in Fresno, California indicates that Facebook is now only showing posts from your 26 closest frintschoft and has completely blocked posts by Uncle Jake. “Blocking Uncle Jake is no loss, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Friends Every Single Friesen, Reimer, and Plett on Facebook

May 18, 2021 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB Diane Thiessen, 31, was just taking a jog around the Landmark Feeds building this weekend, when she decided to stop and friend request just a few more Friesen, Reimers, and Pletts. “I couldn’t […]

Unger Suspicion

Tragedy Befalls Mennonite Man After Not Liking and Sharing Anti-Trudeau Meme

April 20, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After an unbroken streak of fifty-three days of inane manipulative meme-sharing, Mr. Hiebert neglected to like and share a political meme that he agreed with and was met with a fate worse than […]

The Daily Bonnet

New TikTok Account Features Videos of Mennonite Woman Resisting the Urge to Dance

March 9, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB It’s the hottest TikTok account in Altona and it features videos of a Mennonite woman just sitting there perfectly still for ten to fifteen seconds. “Wow, did you see that crazy video of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Taunte Lina Becomes Instagram Influencer

February 16, 2021 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Unbeknownst to her grandchildren, over the past few months Taunte Lina has amassed a massive following and become one of Instagram’s top influencers. “I can yikyak and tiktok with the best of them,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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