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snow

Unger Games

‘Mount Kenaston’ Ski Hill Closes for the Season

March 2, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s highest and favourite ski hill ‘Mount Kenaston’ is closing for the 2019 season after temperatures rose to minus twenty this weekend. “We’re getting into spring now and we’ve decided to shut things […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mexican Mennonite Purchases Snowmobile, Prays for White Christmas

December 15, 2018 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO After his cousins Pieta and Johan extolled the virtues of a snowy white Christmas, Guillermo Krahn of Cuauhtemoc decided to purchase a snowmobile and have it shipped down to Mexico in anticipation of […]

Unger Suspicion

Single Snowflake Causes Vancouver Schools to Shut Down for ‘Snow Day’

March 5, 2018 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC The discovery of a single solitary snowflake in the Vancouver suburb of Burnaby this Monday, forced schools across the region to shut down. The sighting was reported early Monday morning and immediately caused […]

The Daily Bonnet

Bump of Packed Down Snow at the End of Mr. Penner’s Driveway Declared Manitoba’s Highest Peak

February 7, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A one foot tall mound of packed down snow on Mr. Penner’s driveway has been officially declared the tallest mountain in Manitoba. “Move over Baldy Mountain, my driveway is king now!” said a […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Completely Shocked by the Existence of Winter

December 28, 2017 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Millions of Canadians from coast-to-coast were completely flummoxed this week as temperatures dropped to the same frigid Canadian winter temperatures as every other winter. Many took to social media to vent their disbelief. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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