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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Refuses to Pay for Superstore Bags

June 29, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local woman Doris Goosen had her arms full yet again on Thursday evening after she refused to pay the 5 cents for the Superstore plastic bags. “I don’t care if it take me […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Couple Not Nearly as Rich as Huge Wad of Canadian Tire Money Suggests

May 27, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK Over the years, local couple Bert and Paula Siemens have accumulated a large stash of Canadian Tire money. However, when the couple went to their local Canadian Tire store to spend it, they quickly […]

Uncategorized

Nordstrom Sells $600 ‘Authentic Mennonite-Worn’ Dirty Jeans

April 27, 2017 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA Mennonite hog farmers across North America are ecstatic at the new opportunity to sell their old dirty sweaty jeans at a huge profit to Nordstrom. “I don’t know why those English want our […]

The Daily Bonnet

Grand Forks, North Dakota ‘Completely Overrun’ With Mennonites

March 29, 2017 Andrew

GRAND FORKS, ND Due to Spring Break in Manitoba, the indoor waterslides at every single hotel in nearby Grand Forks were totally swamped with Mennonites this week. “They’re welcome to explore our city,” said Grand […]

The Daily Bonnet

Adventurous Mennonite Couple Discovers a Whole World Beyond St. Vital Centre

February 26, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. and Mrs. Jakob and Helena Funk of Lowe Farm were recently shocked to discover that there was more to the provincial capital than a suburban mall. “For decades we’ve just been driving between […]

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