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sex

The Daily Bonnet

Homeschool Sex Ed Lesson Goes Terribly Wrong

April 9, 2020 Andrew

TABER, AB Mrs. Wiens of Taber has been at a loss for how to get through the curriculum this semester. Especially concerning for the young mom of two was the Sex Ed lesson she was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Church Warns ‘No Casual Meddachschlop During Public Health Crisis’

March 31, 2020 Andrew

SANTA CLARA, MEXICO Public health officials and church leaders are warning Mennonites across North America to refrain from casual meddachschlop with random partners for the duration of the current crisis. “Unless you’ve got a California […]

Unger Conviction

Bible School Expands ‘Six Inch Rule’ to ‘Six Foot Rule’

March 15, 2020 Andrew

FOUR MOUNTAINS, BC A local Bible school is taking drastic measures to prevent the spread of the pandemic by expanding the six-inch buffer zone between opposite-gender students to a full six feet. “We’ve always taken […]

The Daily Bonnet

Intercourse, Pennsylvania to be Renamed Abstinence, Pennsylvania

February 20, 2020 Andrew

ABSTINENCE, PA The tiny Mennonite village of Intercourse, Pennsylvania has had a wildly inappropriate name for quite some time now and area residents are finally ready for a change. “People are coming here for all […]

The Daily Bonnet

Meddachschlop Over 60: Five Tips for Mennonite Seniors

February 3, 2020 Andrew

As we age, many things that we took for granted as young Mennonites start to become more difficult. Plowing is hard on the back. Hitting that high note during the Vespers service becomes a challenge. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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