Days After Wild Silvesterabend Party, Man Wakes Up as a Married, Father of Four, Living in the Chaco


As the evening began on December 31, 30-year-old Alberta Mennonite Peter Toews was a youngish trend-setter on the move. After one night of wild Silveresterabendfestivities in La Crete, however, Peter awoke this morning and found himself married with four young children, living in Fernheim Colony, Paraguay.

“I guess I drank a few too many coolers,” said Peter, now fluent in Low German. “That New Year’s party is a bit of a blur, but I vaguely remember signing a marriage license and hopping on a plane…and, so, here I am.”

Traditionally, Mennonites across the Americas celebrate the life of Pope Silvester the last day of December by dressing up in silly costumes and bothering the neighbours. Usually copious amounts of alcohol are also involved.

“You’ve got to have something to wash down the Niejoa Kuchen,” said Peter. “I guess I’ve learned to be a bit more moderate in my consumption. Oh, well, I guess it’s the family life for me.”

Peter’s new wife Aganetha was also shocked to discover Mr. Toews, sporting nothing but a pair of cut-off jean-shorts and suspenders, passed out on the chesterfield in her Filadelfia bungalo.

“You never know what can happen on Silversterabend,” said Aganetha, who was visiting her Canadian relatives over the holidays. “If you’re not careful, you could even end up married to some guy from La Crete.”

(photo credit: Bill Wilson/cc)

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