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sermon

Unger Conviction

Pastor Mansplains for 40 Minutes this Morning

July 16, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN After a delightful special number from the Janz sisters, Pastor Greg took the podium this morning and mansplained his way through the entire fifth chapter of Ephesians. “Turn in your Bibles to the Book […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Hands Out Fidget Spinners to Keep People Alert During Boring Sermon

June 4, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN After receiving numerous complaints about the length and monotony of Pastor Johan’s sermons, the local MBB church had decided to hand out hundreds of fidget spinners to keep the people occupied at this morning’s service. […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Forbids Standing in Church, Claims it ‘Leads to Dancing’

May 26, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Head pastor of Northwest Goshen MBC, Heinrich Yoder declared that standing would no long be permitted in church services as it had a very high risk of leading to dancing. “We need to […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Earns $400,000 for Wall Street Sermon

May 4, 2017 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Retired Mennonite pastor Dave Froese of Alt-Bergfeld EMB just raked in more than $400,000 for an hour-long sermon on Ephesians 6 he gave at a meeting of Wall Street bankers. However, the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Caught on Facebook During Church Service

April 23, 2017 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Local woman, Mrs. Doris P. Sawatzky, 51, of the Rosenort area was caught posting pictures of cats on Facebook at 11:05 AM this past Sunday, which was right in the middle of Pastor […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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