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The Daily Bonnet

Local Mom Suspended For Teaching Evolution in Home School

December 3, 2017 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Local home school teacher and mother of eight, Janet Kehler of Aylmer, has been suspended from teaching her own children after giving a particularly riveting lesson on Darwinian evolution last Friday. “It was […]

Unger Suspicion

Fossil Discovered in Southern Manitoba

November 12, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A rare fossil was discovered in the hands of a Steinbach real estate agent this past week. A team of experts analyzed the finding, saying it was something called a “Blackberry,” whatever that […]

Unger Suspicion

Bill Nye Totally Owned in Debate by Bible School Student

September 2, 2017 Andrew

PETERSBURG, KY After a rematch between Bill Nye the Science Guy and Creation Museum founder Ken Ham was cancelled due to scheduling conflicts, a Bible School student from rural Indiana took on Bill Nye and […]

Unger Conviction

Eclipse Glasses Recommended for Sunday’s Worship Service

August 22, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Waters of Blessing, an area church well known for its mind-blowing worship hour, is urging parishioners to keep their eclipse glasses and bring them along to this weekend’s service. “We’ve heard your cries for more […]

Unger Suspicion

Solar Eclipse Caused by Mennonites with Black Paint, Scientists Claim

August 21, 2017 Andrew

MARKHAM, ON Today’s rare total solar eclipse has scientists questioning previously-held theories on the origins of such phenomena. According to a recent study out of the University of Markham, the most likely cause of eclipses of this […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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