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science

Unger Conviction

New Study Shows Mennonites Feel 6% More Guilt Than Catholics

October 2, 2016 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON A new study from the University of Kitchener suggests that Mennonites experience only slightly more guilt than their Roman Catholic counterparts. While both groups experience similar levels of guilt and shame on issues of food and […]

Unger Conviction

Six Billion Year Old Bible Provides Definitive Proof of Evolution

July 26, 2016 Andrew

SANLIURFA, TURKEY Scientists at a dig site in Turkey have uncovered one of the most important pieces of evidence to support Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution. Earlier this month a team of specialists led by […]

Unger & Thirst

Climate Scientists Predict Global Shortage of Schmaunt Fat

May 16, 2016 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Climate scientists in southern Ontario predict that, due to increasing temperatures, by the year 2030, there will be a global shortage of schmaunt fat. The white cream gravy has been a staple of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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