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schmaunt fat

Quizzes

What is your favourite Russian Mennonite food?

February 25, 2018 Andrew

Yesterday, we asked which Russian Mennonite foods you had tried. The top ten most common were: 1) Vereniki 2) Dill Pickles 3) Formavorscht 4) Cabbage Borscht 5) Roll Kuchen 6) Cold Cuts 7) Whipped Cream/Jell-O […]

Unger & Thirst

How Many of These Common Mennonite Foods Have You Tried?

February 24, 2018 Andrew

How many of these Russian Mennonite treats, many of which we stole from the Ukrainians and Poles, have you consumed? (I’m not knowledgable enough about Swiss Mennonite food to make a list of 50. If […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite CPAP Machine Provides Continuous Flow of Schmaunt Fat

January 10, 2018 Andrew

HERBERT, SK Cardiologists in the small town of Herbert, Saskatchewan are testing out a new CPAP machine that would provide Mennonites with a continuous flow of schmaunt fat while they sleep. Local man Dale Broesky […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Scores Big on ‘Wheel of Fortune’

October 21, 2017 Andrew

CULVER CITY, CA Mrs. Carolyn Berg, 63, from Blumenort, Manitoba scored big on ‘Wheel of Fortune’ this past week after all the puzzles had something to do with Mennonites. She took home more than $120,000, […]

Unger & Thirst

A Calorie Guide to Mennonite Cooking

September 16, 2017 Andrew

In the days before we became lazy and assimilated, Mennonites wouldn’t concern themselves with such things. We worked hard all day on the farm, where we could easily sweat out even the very fattiest of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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