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rock music

Unger Suspicion

Burton Cummings to Donate His Moustache to Charity

October 1, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Legendary Canadian rocker Burton Cummings is set to become a little bit lighter this weekend after agreeing to shave his signature moustache and auction it off for charity. “We’re thinking his moustache could […]

Unger Suspicion

Sparse Crowd at Nickelback Concert, Mostly Just Mennonites

September 21, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It seems that a few dozen Mennonites from rural Manitoba are the only people in the country who don’t realize how bad a band Nickelback really is. With thousands of tickets left for […]

Unger Conviction

90% of Heavy Metal Bands Fronted by Pastors’ Sons

September 10, 2017 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA A new study out of the University of Middle Harrisonburg reveals that the vast majority of heavy and/or death metal bands are fronted by the sons of pastors, frequently of the Mennonite or […]

Unger Suspicion

Larry Norman Updates Song: “Why Doesn’t the Devil Have Any Good Music?”

February 12, 2017 Andrew

LOS ANGELES, CA In 1972, pioneering Christian rock artist Larry Norman posed the question: “Why Should the Devil Have All the Good Music?” After viewing the abysmal state of contemporary music at the 2017 Grammy […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Mennonites Pay Tribute to the Tragically Hip

August 21, 2016 Andrew

KINGSTON, ON After the Tragically Hip played their final concert ever last night in Kingston, Ontario, millions of Canadians, including Mennonites, paid tribute to the iconic Canadian band. “I’ve never clapped before in my life…but […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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