Burton Cummings to Donate His Moustache to Charity


Legendary Canadian rocker Burton Cummings is set to become a little bit lighter this weekend after agreeing to shave his signature moustache and auction it off for charity.

“We’re thinking his moustache could shatter auction records,” said a Sotheby’s auction representative. “If Hendrix’s guitar went for two million and Michael Jackson’s glove went for five hundred K, then just imagine what we could get for Burton Cummings’ moustache.”

The moustache, weighing in at more than twelve pounds, has been a trademark of Mr. Cummings since the early-70s when he grew it in order to gain an advantage with the ladies over bandmate Randy Bachman.

“Burton’s been a favourite with Guess Who groupies ever since,” said local rock historian Johan Armanson. “After he grew that stache, Randy and the rest of the boys just couldn’t compete.”

The money from the moustache auction will be split fifty-fifty between the MCC and the local facial hair implant clinic, which provides moustaches and goatees to young men in need.

“It’s something I feel super strongly about,” said Cummings. “Our hope is that we can eradicate moustachelessness in my lifetime.”

Cummings says he’s confident his stache will grow back in time for the cold Manitoba winter.

(photo credit: Shayne Kaye/CC)

A Craft Beer Guide for Mennonites
Donald Dueck Marries Daisy, Cousin Mickey Not Invited