Fast Food Chain Sells Farmer Sausage Filled with 80% Sawdust


A new Mennonite fast food chain has been caught cutting corners by filling their farmer sausage mostly with sawdust.

“It seems they’re taking notes from their fast food competitors,” said local food critic Mr. Wiebe. “The nerve of those people! They actually thought we couldn’t tell the difference!”

The restaurant has saved more than a thousand dollars so far using this method.

“I don’t think anyone should criticize us,” said owner Mr. Klassen. “I’m just giving the people what they’re asking for: a cheap price. Where else can you get a ring of formavorcht for seventy-five cents?”

Since the news about the farmer sausage broke this week, many customers are beginning to wonder just what is in their other products.

“I always knew there was something off about those vereniki,” said Mr. Wiebe. “The supposed cottage cheese seems eerily similar in texture and consistency to Styrofoam or something.”

Despite the revelations about the quality of their meat, Mennonite customers have been lining up at the Drive-Thru just so they can save a few dollars.

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