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The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Man Finally Earns Enough Airmiles to Visit Winkler

April 25, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After more than twenty years of collecting, Steinbach man Doug Ens has finally earned enough Airmiles to visit his Winkler relatives. “He kept telling us he didn’t have enough Airmiles to visit us,” said Doug’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

60% of Manitobans Claim to be Cousins of Jonathan Toews

April 17, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A new poll shows that just over 60% of the Manitoba population claims to be related to NHL star Jonathan Toews. “When you’ve got someone as famous as Jonathan Toews, suddenly everyone and […]

The Daily Bonnet

That Old Time Religion is Good Enough for Uncle Henry

March 23, 2017 Andrew

WALDESRUH, MB At a family get-together this past week, Uncle Henry proclaimed to any young person who would listen that he didn’t need none of this new fangled religion because the old time variety was more […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Win at the Mennonite Game: Swiss Edition

September 3, 2016 Andrew

Typical for Dutch-Prussian-Russian Mennonites, the so-called “comprehensive” guide to the Mennonite Game published yesterday contained a few startling biases such as names of rivers and Uncles. In order to address these issues, a generous Swiss Mennonite reader […]

Quizzes

How to Win at the Mennonite Game: A Comprehensive Guide

September 2, 2016 Andrew

The Mennonite Game is easy to play, but difficult to master. For years Mennonites have been playing the game, but after all this time, no winner has been determined for the simple reason that there […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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