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plautdietsch

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Says Words He’s Never Uttered Before After Scheifele Gets Injured

August 1, 2020 Andrew

KOLA, MB Moments after Winnipeg Jets superstar Mark Scheifele was dragged off the ice with an injury in game one of the play-in series versus the Calgary Flames, the Hiebert family of Kola was treated […]

The Daily Bonnet

Murder Hornets Not Nearly So Scary When You Call them ‘Mord wille Bie’

May 11, 2020 Andrew

YARROW, BC In an effort to get everyone to chill a little, local officials have started referring to the notorious murder hornets by their Plautdietsch name, which is seen to be more hilarious than scary. […]

The Daily Bonnet

A Glossary of Low German Words Used on the Daily Bonnet

April 23, 2020 Andrew

So, recently I used the word Schekjbenjel and I was shocked to discover there were more than a few readers who were unfamiliar with this term! So, I have decided to make a glossary of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mr. Enns Accuses Mr. Ens of ‘Sheer Laziness’

April 20, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mr. Enns has accused Mr. Ens of the greatest crime a Mennonite can commit: laziness. Evidence of this ‘sheer laziness’ is the fact that Mr. Ens decides to spell his name with only […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ten ‘Nah Yos’ Required to Extricate Mennonite Man from Conversation

February 21, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mr. Bergen was eager to get home and watch the last period of the Jats game after Bible study this week, but, no matter how many times he said “nah yo, dan,” he […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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