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Unger Suspicion

Anti-Pantsers Demand Their Constitutional Rights

September 13, 2021 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Thousands of angry anti-pantsers invaded Leamington this week and decided to dine at local restaurants without sporting any bottoms whatsoever. “I’ve never had to use so much Lysol in all my life,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Police Vow to Put a Stop to Mennonite Crack Problem

July 20, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Citizens of the Manitoba capital have been deeply distressed by the ever-increasing crack problem within the city’s Mennonite population this summer. The problem came to a head this week after a huge quantity […]

Unger Suspicion

Justin Trudeau Poses Topless on the Cover of ‘Manitoba Hog Farmers Weekly’

July 29, 2017 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Days after becoming the first Canadian Prime Minister to make the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, Justin Trudeau appeared with his shirt off on cover of Manitoba Hog Farmers Weekly. “I thought I […]

Unger Conviction

Streaker Disrupts Mennonite Church Service

June 6, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB The service at East Blumenhof Brethren was rudely interrupted by a “basically naked” young woman who walked in the door claiming she was “visiting for the first time.” Within minutes of her arrival, the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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