The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

nhl

Unger Suspicion

Entire Province of Manitoba Calls in Sick This Morning

May 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After the Winnipeg Jets advanced to the Conference finals for the first time in history, not a single person in the entire province of Manitoba showed up to work this morning. “There seems […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Hospitals Overrun With Jets-Related Heart Attacks

May 2, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a narrow defeat in double overtime on Sunday, followed by a come-from-way-behind victory on Tuesday, Winnipeg hospitals are now filled to the brim with Jets-induced heart attack victims. “If this keeps up, […]

Unger Suspicion

Nation Shocked as Canadian NHL Team Wins Playoff Series Without Rioting

April 22, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Tens of thousands of fans lined the streets of downtown Winnipeg on Friday night to celebrate the Jets first round playoff victory over the Minnesota Wild. Jets fans bucked decades of Canadian hockey […]

Unger Suspicion

Why Every Single Winnipeg Jets Player is Actually a Mennonite

April 21, 2018 Andrew

I’m not much one for conspiracies, but I think something’s going on here. Much has been made of the fact that Finnish superstar Patrik Laine seems awfully Mennonite with his beard and teetotaling. However, if […]

Unger Suspicion

Long-Suffering Vegas Knights Fan Finally Sees His Team Win the Cup

April 10, 2018 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV Long time Vegas Golden Knights fan Peter Sawatzky, 43, has suffered through many seasons without a Cup. Sawatzky, originally from Kleefeld, Manitoba, lives in Sin City during the winter and has had […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 14 15 16 17 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • “But I Didn’t Inhale”: Mennonite Politician Confesses to Consuming Borscht
    February 11, 2019
  • Steinbach Pistons to Face Blumenort Menno Knights
    May 5, 2023
  • Steinbach Residents to Get Bolt Cutters in their Stockings this Christmas
    November 18, 2020
  • Mennonite Hunter Bags Huge Sausage
    November 21, 2017
  • Naive Young Man Still Clinging to Hope of Meeting Eligible Young Woman in Church
    July 3, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved