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Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Perplexed by the Warm Soothing Sounds of Steve Bell

December 15, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. Corny Plett, 61, normally a pretty wound-up individual, ventured into the city this week to attend a concert by Steve Bell and discovered a whole new world of emotions he’d never even […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Caught Listening to Charlie Brown Christmas Album

December 9, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB A stash of secular records were discovered under Garth Wiebe’s mattress this week, after a tip by prying neighbours led to a raid of the premises by church elders. “As you know, we […]

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift Ticket Discovered at Thrift Store

December 1, 2022 Andrew

READING, PA After the demand for tickets was so high that it crashed the Ticketmaster site this week, Taylor Swift fans were left out of luck. That is, until one lucky soul in Reading, Pennsylvania […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Disaster Volunteers Brought in to Fix Ticketmaster

November 28, 2022 Andrew

PHOENIX, AZ After the Taylor Swift presale crashed the Ticketmaster website this week, Mennonite disaster volunteers have been flown to Ticketmaster headquarters to fix the problem. “I must say, we’ve never responded to a disaster […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Unveils New “Choir of the Runny Noses”

October 2, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON After two years of suppressing every cough, sneeze, and sniffle, the folks at Third Mennonite Church of Kitchener have decided to let it all out and make a joyful noise unto the Lord. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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